Sunday, 14 December 2008

What was wrong with me?

OK so after work today i returned back to my family home to help put up the Christmas decorations and as i was digging through the shit in the loft, i found all my old school books.

Well when i say school books i mean the text books i stole from the cupboard in school and used them to get away with drawing in class.

Amongst these books i found a book which appears to be a sort of thought log, which was full of these fucked up poems.
I was gunna make a video about this but i think the content is too dark for a video :s

I will share a couple with you now.

Anger is to be treated with a touch of evil.
If not, it is to be torn; torn from the inside.
Torn away from the actual feeling of life.
All turns black
No memory.
No feeling.
Just anger in its rightful place.

Come back to the usual.
Concentrate on the things that hurt the most.
Provoked thought of loneliness.
Normal thoughts ripped away from the face of reality.
The young boy, no hope for that which he desires.

Leave me alone,
Thats what your good at.
Please scrape me out of this box which people call life.

Im not here,
the distant face at the end of the hall,
The cold shiver down your neck,
Not much to live on.

These are not your thoughts to be thought.
Get out of my head.
Your riddling with my mind and fucking up my life.
I wish i could be normal again.

Your torment rips down the curtain between you and me.
Sanity and life.
Anything that means everything to me.

He's back, lurking over my shoulder,
Making me feel insecure.
What should i do? i cant get to him.
He is not there i just feel his presence.

....Soo yeah i cant even remember what these are about it was in year 8 I did used to suffer minor rage blackouts, maby thats what I did.

Peace x

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