Today me.

I feel weird today.

Usually by now my body would be craving food but im not hungry in the slightest.

I'm sat at work drinking a cup of tea which seems to be an effort to drink, usually i would happily swig it down and then make another one.

I dont even find it amusing that the coaster is sticking to the mug every time i pick the cup up to take a swig.

I'm kinda just sat here not hot, not cold.
A completely neutral temperature.

I'm not even getting wound up by the customers.

Two people just came of one of the squash court and one said to the other.
"You used to play better when you were an alcoholic"
I would have usually pissed my self laughing, but i couldn't even force out a smile, i just took their money and slumped back don into this worn chair.

The only thing reminding me that this isn't a dream is my smell.
I haven't washed for a few days now, i would just put on some deodorant to temporarily cover up the smell, but i left my bag containing my deodorant and my Nintendo DS at a Macdonald's in Basingstoke.

I will probably never see them again and i honestly don't care.
I don't know if thats just today me or just general me.

Ok so i just stole some deodorant from the cupboard, I'm not usually one for stealing but free stuff is good.

Now i smell good i can settle for today being a dream.

This means I'm sleeping in a warm and comfy bed somewhere.

I like that thought.
x

All is going shit.

Great, my house mate just told me he HATES me and if we weren't living in this house together he would never talk to me again and completely erase me from his life.
Definately was bad timess.

Im going.
Ive been packing my stuff all day, i got nowhere to move to but im gunna call around some friends.
I cant stay here any more.

I will still have to pay rent on this house soo i need somewhere for free.
This place has never really felt like home anyway.

Hmm haha another crazy adventure in my life.
Hopefully i will find somewhere in the next couple of days.

Its hard living in the same house with someone who hates you, i don't wanna leave my room.

Sorry i haven't written in soo long.
x

ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.

At least i know who i am and have got enough balls to do what I want to do.
You.
You are him and he is you.
Aesthetically and mentally.
You speak the same.
You share the same lust.
Your addiction is the same.
Your programmed mindset is a huge weight on society, hence the bad name that burdens all students and youths alike.
You choose to perpetuate the negative stereotype of students.
You choose a life that is not your own.
You choose to walk your life in someone else's shoes.
You may as well not exist, there are a million "yous", and guess what?
That girl doesn't want to have sex with you, she doesn't either and neither does she.
Stop looking upon women as fucking disposable sex toys for you to get your dick wet with.
Get some fucking self respect, step into your own shoes and do what you want to do and not what is expected of you.
There is so much more to life than blurry, forgotten nights having meaningless sex with nameless people.
Love life in its purest forms - Natural beauty, love, culture and friendship.

Jeez I fucking hate some people.
I hate kebab houses, where people ask "Are you seriously wearing that? Or is it dress up night?"
Cunts.

WOW SOMETHING INTERESTING!!!

Ok soo after typing my that blog just now, i decided to do something interesting and go and work on one of my songs ive been writing and i thought i would share it with the people who read this, because i love them ^__^

It is an instrumental track, sometimes the feeling of a song can speak just as loud as words, sorry about the midi violin i just don't own a real one, and the mix is really rough at the moment..

Wow here we goo, first time i have ever broadcasted my music across the internet.

Go here (Its free) -> IANS MUSIC

I wish i had something interesting to write about.

I haven't written a blog for ages, its because i never have anything to write about.

The past couple of days i have just been numb laying in bed, doing nothing.
All ive had is the little things that get me through the day, which i usually tweet if its that interesting.

Snow was good, i enjoyed that.

It would have been better if i had someone to enjoy it with.

It seems as though im starting to treat my video camera like a friend, i don't know if this is good or bad.

Im trying sooo hard to make myself believe i have an imaginary friend because that would be aweeeesoooooommmmmeeee.

All you have to do is watch drop dead fred to prove this.

Ran out of cheese just now.

Bad timess.

If you are reading this blog you are awesome and i love you.

Just remember to give me a hug next time you see me.

x