Times turn to quick

Just a second ago i was immensly happy thinking life is good at the moment.
Then bam a huge rock of fuck just hit me on the head now all i can think about is locking myself in my room and hiding under my duvet.
I think i have been pushing one side of myself away to appear ebullient all the time but the truth is all humans hurt everynow and then, its no use trying to hide it or it will fuck you up.
The truth is i care for someone more than i should which is lacking fairly in return, and find myself in a situation which i cannot help but just sit and wonder why the fuck cant things go my way, i dont think i am usually selfish, but i want this, i want it all to myself, i will never have it, i just need to learn to accept this.
Thats the hardest thing.
Accepting the fact that i will never have that happiness of holding her.

If any body reads this there is no need to gossip because it really isnt who you think it is, i have just realised i cant keep pushing it away and i had to write it somewhere.

Sorry for going all shit but it has to be done.
x

Hello im sat next to alex.

He is my flat mate, most of you will see him on the 8th, he says hi ^__^.
I had a pretty amazing weekend, and i managed to spend atleast 7 hours on blog t.v. with drew and georgie, it was mucho fun :)
I am now officially going to the fright night on friday at thorpe park, would be amazing to see people there if they wanna dance with zombiessss and chainsaw people, i gotta goo though, because we have been sat in this cafe for far tooo long.
Hope everyone is ok miss you loads, and dave is was shit that you wernt there this weekend but mine will be a bash hahaha.
BYYYEEEE.
xXx

Realisation

I have just realised that one of my mates from uni is more of a friend than i thought, we just had a chat and he helped me out mentally, if that makes sense.
This made me happy he was going to go home but he took time out of his day to hear me out.

I realised how ridiculous it is that for a relationship between two people to go beyond the status of "friends" there has to be some sort of sexual activity, and if this doesnt happen in a certain amount of time you will always be stuck in that friend zone.
I watched lost in translation last night and was completly entranced by the beauty of the relation between the two main characters.

Such beauty does not exsist in reality, thats why i like movies soo much.
I think i need to grow up and stop trying to escape through false realities such as film.
x

Confidence.

Ok so i am currently at uni, and as i have been walking around seeing different people and watching how they act around each other, and i asked myself;
Why are people physically attracted to confidence when in my experience the confident ones are the sleazy, sleep arounds with absolutly no morals or self control.
Hmmmm.......
x

OMG what the hell happened??

AHHHHHH

Today i got series 5 of oz which i have wanted for sooooo long im super stoked and i am gunna sit down and watch them all tonight lol, then i wake up to go to LDN and hang out with some of the coolest kids in town ^__^

I am uploading a video about a monopoly board game i bought today for £2 :s
crazzzy timess foooool.

Im really upset that im not gunna see the guys that are going to dublin, i miss them :( but soon i will WOOP WOOOP.

I am on the computors at uni, and they have locked me in because i am uploading somethign and refused to leave, and they were like
" Ok we will ahve to lock you in, incase of emergency, use the fire exit"
lol WEEEEEEEEEEEEE ALL OVER MY PANTSSSSSSS.

leather glove box mother.

Uni is confusing.

So i am back for my second year at uni, i thought i was suppossed to start next week but apparently i started on monday so i missed my first 2 lectures :( bastards.

I finished writing my song today i have rented out a sony pd170 with wide angle lense with its tripod to make the video ^__^.
I should be shooting it over the weekend.

In other news i watched a really good documentry today called "Recollecting tibet" you guys should check it out.
xxx