So fast forward 6 or so years...
I'm now a fair bit older, I have a beautiful girlfriend, We own a house, I'm in a band that keeps me creatively satisfied and I'm way more self aware when it comes to certain mental health issues that I clearly had no clue about when I was a younger.
I say self aware because these things never truly leave us. I still struggle as alot of people do. All it takes is one tiny slip and you get thrown right back into the cavern. This is why it's become soo important to be kind to myself; stick to routines, eat healthier and sleep well. If I'm honest, it bogs me down, feeling I have to constantly pander to it like a rotten tooth but that's just the way it HAS to be. A lot of the time I feel like I've been cursed, I spent most of my time thinking"Why do all these things just to align myself with what other people expect of me" but it turns out it's not for them.
It was for me.
It seemed to be a vicious cycle. Being in a bad place always ended up with me making terrible snap decisions, generally based on rage or apathy, which 99% of the time ended up being the worst option available.....and the cycle continues.
I don't quite know what I'm trying to convey here but I guess it's like a human/emotion version of Changing Rooms. Except it's taken years instead of a few days, Handy Andy represents your friends and I guess Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is your camp, purple clad Doctor......
- Be kind to yourself.
- Surround yourself with loved ones, friends & family.
- Always talk to people about how you feel. How you REALLY feel!
- CREATE, CREATE, CREATE!