Bad timesss.

At a party...... its 7 in the morning.
The sun is coming up.
hmm and due my apparent lack of confidence i am sat by myself while everybody has paired up and gone to different bedrooms :(
Tis wierd a bit like a swingers party but everybody is fucked up on crazy shit, it seems as though girls are only attracted to guys who drink lol.
Well im only writting this because i have nothing else to do :( should sleep really but all the beds are taken lolz.
Bad timess.
Something is wrong with this world.
I dont understand why i cant catch the attention of even 1 girl when we are out. Not that im out 'ON THE PULL MAAYYYTTEEE' its just nice to have a little attention, when all your friends have girls dribbling over them.
I guess im just jealous, ohh well.
Peace yalll x

ITSSSSS CHRISSTTMAAAAASSSSS

Hey WOW MY NANS GOT THE INTERNET.
We really are advancing in technology hehe.

Wellll today has been amazing sooo far :) grandad even recognised me this morning :)
Nans constant complaing about my vegetarianism hasnt stopped but ive been feeling so good i just dont care WOOOP WOOOP.
For those of you who dont know my parents are divorced so i get two days of christmas, which is amazing.
Today i got got:
- OZ season 6 ( wanted it for ages)
- 500 GB external hardrive.
- Korg synthasizer for my DS
- And some dv tapes for my camera

Tomorow im going back to my mums for second christmas or even secondmas ohh yeah, im smooth.

Not expecting anything in particular but really looking forward to it.

Hope your all having an amazing day, and i hope to see yall sooon x
MUCHIO CHRISTMAS LOVEEE x

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING x

I just did all my christmas shopping today in like 5 hours haha, it was very stressful but i saw it through to the bitter end hehe.
I saw 3 chavs running like the speed of light away from a security guard, i could have stopped them but i was on the other side of a fence :( bad times.
I wonder what they had done.

This time last year i was involved in a homeless rally thing where me and all my mates got together and gave out old blankets and cloths that we own we even had soup and stuff but this year nobody has arranged anything :(
Maby we should have a youtube homeles rally :)

I really am not feeling the Christmas spirit this year for various reasons.
But im looking forward to the new year and have many things that need changing in my life.

Im just leaving to go round my nans and i wont be on the internet for like 3-4 days soo i hope you have an amazing christmass, with lots of amazing presents and endless love.
BYEEEE x

gooodddddaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

Good day henly brenly bunch gon lunch munch.
I have now been up for 41 mins inthat time i have eaten some protein bars and drank my protein shake and fcking worked out like a tiger.
Nah i kinda just layed in bed then got up and doug cooked me some scrambled egg.
Now i am waiting to my ass down the crazy cathedral where nobody knows where it is.

Sophie beard is leaning on my shoulder even though last night i tried to kill her with a huge green rubber band and pillows ^__^ and this morning me and doug woke her up by jumpeing on her WOOOP WOOOOOOOP.

BYEEEEEEEE x

What was wrong with me?

OK so after work today i returned back to my family home to help put up the Christmas decorations and as i was digging through the shit in the loft, i found all my old school books.

Well when i say school books i mean the text books i stole from the cupboard in school and used them to get away with drawing in class.

Amongst these books i found a book which appears to be a sort of thought log, which was full of these fucked up poems.
I was gunna make a video about this but i think the content is too dark for a video :s

I will share a couple with you now.

Anger is to be treated with a touch of evil.
If not, it is to be torn; torn from the inside.
Torn away from the actual feeling of life.
All turns black
No memory.
No feeling.
Just anger in its rightful place.


Come back to the usual.
Concentrate on the things that hurt the most.
Provoked thought of loneliness.
Normal thoughts ripped away from the face of reality.
The young boy, no hope for that which he desires.

Leave me alone,
Thats what your good at.
Please scrape me out of this box which people call life.

Im not here,
the distant face at the end of the hall,
The cold shiver down your neck,
Not much to live on.

These are not your thoughts to be thought.
Get out of my head.
Your riddling with my mind and fucking up my life.
I wish i could be normal again.

Your torment rips down the curtain between you and me.
Sanity and life.
Anything that means everything to me.

He's back, lurking over my shoulder,
Making me feel insecure.
What should i do? i cant get to him.
He is not there i just feel his presence.

....Soo yeah i cant even remember what these are about it was in year 8 I did used to suffer minor rage blackouts, maby thats what I did.


Peace x

Christmas and recording.

Ok soo Christmas is sneaking up on me quickly and i can barely pay the bills soo i apologise to anyone near or dear to me because i cant afford it this year.
I don't expect anything in return, maby just a card because with every year that passes Christmas becomes just that little bit more lonely.

But NOO this year is not going to be lonely at all because from Monday onwards i am moving into a part time recording studio to write and record my bands debut album WOOP WOOOP.
We have 3 songs written already but they are still a work in progress.
By new year we would have sent it out to distribution companies and record labels and we plan on touring around march time which sounds SWEEEEEETT.
So i will let people know the dates soo if i come near to you we can hang out :)

Sorry for not blogging for a while uni has been hectic and i have been ridiculously addicted to www.iminlikewithyou.com DONT CLICK THAT LINK, YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

Love yall x

OMFG THE DEVIL HAS COMMENTED MY PROFILE.





SCARY TIMESSS.
^__^ x

This made my day.

HAHAHAHAHAHA this is hilarious.

This was posted on one of my video's:


To which i replied:



This was the outcome:



Haha never thought i was wierd enough to scare people off.
x

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

Just a quicky to say thank you to everybody who came to my party over the weekend, i had a great time and it was amazing to see everyone again :)

It crazy that people would travell from soo far away to come and party with me which means you all are brilliant.

Ohh and sorry for getting annoyed at sleepy time.

Im in the learning cafe because i did have a lecture at 12 but they moved it to 1 GRRRRRR i could have slept for another hour.

Now you know where it is you can picture me sat here typing this message in that big glass box room thingy hehe. BAI x

OBAMAMAMAMAMAMA

OMg its mega late its 4.40 at the moment and obama just WON THE ELECTION EEEEEEE

and me, dave, edd, todd, lucy, ginger chris and dale are sat waiting on his speech.

I dont think i am gunna go to my lecture at 9 tomorow.

IM WAYY TO EXCITEDD AND MY PARTY THIS WEEKEND OMG CAN THINGS GET ANYBETTER AHHHHHHHHHH.

I love everybody :).

-Ian x

IM SOO HAPPPY. xXx

Nights

I am unstable.
I need sleep.
Can't sleep.

Times turn to quick

Just a second ago i was immensly happy thinking life is good at the moment.
Then bam a huge rock of fuck just hit me on the head now all i can think about is locking myself in my room and hiding under my duvet.
I think i have been pushing one side of myself away to appear ebullient all the time but the truth is all humans hurt everynow and then, its no use trying to hide it or it will fuck you up.
The truth is i care for someone more than i should which is lacking fairly in return, and find myself in a situation which i cannot help but just sit and wonder why the fuck cant things go my way, i dont think i am usually selfish, but i want this, i want it all to myself, i will never have it, i just need to learn to accept this.
Thats the hardest thing.
Accepting the fact that i will never have that happiness of holding her.

If any body reads this there is no need to gossip because it really isnt who you think it is, i have just realised i cant keep pushing it away and i had to write it somewhere.

Sorry for going all shit but it has to be done.
x

Hello im sat next to alex.

He is my flat mate, most of you will see him on the 8th, he says hi ^__^.
I had a pretty amazing weekend, and i managed to spend atleast 7 hours on blog t.v. with drew and georgie, it was mucho fun :)
I am now officially going to the fright night on friday at thorpe park, would be amazing to see people there if they wanna dance with zombiessss and chainsaw people, i gotta goo though, because we have been sat in this cafe for far tooo long.
Hope everyone is ok miss you loads, and dave is was shit that you wernt there this weekend but mine will be a bash hahaha.
BYYYEEEE.
xXx

Realisation

I have just realised that one of my mates from uni is more of a friend than i thought, we just had a chat and he helped me out mentally, if that makes sense.
This made me happy he was going to go home but he took time out of his day to hear me out.

I realised how ridiculous it is that for a relationship between two people to go beyond the status of "friends" there has to be some sort of sexual activity, and if this doesnt happen in a certain amount of time you will always be stuck in that friend zone.
I watched lost in translation last night and was completly entranced by the beauty of the relation between the two main characters.

Such beauty does not exsist in reality, thats why i like movies soo much.
I think i need to grow up and stop trying to escape through false realities such as film.
x

Confidence.

Ok so i am currently at uni, and as i have been walking around seeing different people and watching how they act around each other, and i asked myself;
Why are people physically attracted to confidence when in my experience the confident ones are the sleazy, sleep arounds with absolutly no morals or self control.
Hmmmm.......
x

OMG what the hell happened??

AHHHHHH

Today i got series 5 of oz which i have wanted for sooooo long im super stoked and i am gunna sit down and watch them all tonight lol, then i wake up to go to LDN and hang out with some of the coolest kids in town ^__^

I am uploading a video about a monopoly board game i bought today for £2 :s
crazzzy timess foooool.

Im really upset that im not gunna see the guys that are going to dublin, i miss them :( but soon i will WOOP WOOOP.

I am on the computors at uni, and they have locked me in because i am uploading somethign and refused to leave, and they were like
" Ok we will ahve to lock you in, incase of emergency, use the fire exit"
lol WEEEEEEEEEEEEE ALL OVER MY PANTSSSSSSS.

leather glove box mother.

Uni is confusing.

So i am back for my second year at uni, i thought i was suppossed to start next week but apparently i started on monday so i missed my first 2 lectures :( bastards.

I finished writing my song today i have rented out a sony pd170 with wide angle lense with its tripod to make the video ^__^.
I should be shooting it over the weekend.

In other news i watched a really good documentry today called "Recollecting tibet" you guys should check it out.
xxx

I HATE EARS

I got the worse ear ache i have ever had, i didnt even know they could feel like this, the whole right side of my head hurts, and i cant even smile because it hurts to much, this is just depressing :(
I wanna go home and eat some chocolate and play on mario.
I really want to get away from home again, i need to go somewhere, somebody invite me to their house please.
I need something wierd and beautiful to happen to me so i can side track from life and go on a massive hunt, where there are no worries other than finding the end to the adventure.
Why cant life be like it is in studio ghibli movies.
That would make me a happy man.
Guess im just a lonely dreamer.

Dismal Grey

Today is grey.
Not white.
Not Black.
Not colourful in anyway.
Just grey.

Ok my my soul just sunk down through the floor, i think its going to stay there for a long time now. An important part of my happiness just grew wings :(

She hasn't flown away yet, but the possibility is my undoing.

I hope this doesn't last for long.

Good times :D

I had an awesome weekend with some amazing friends :) every time i see them we get closer and closer and it makes me happy to know that this is going to continue.
I don't think any of them will know how happy it makes me to find such a close group of friends like this, and be apart of it.

I got to bond with certain people even more. I got to spend more time with barry which was one of my main goals of the weekend.

I wish a few certain people were there.

And although it kills me to think about the distance between us, it makes me the happiest person alive to know that everyday that passes bring me closer to the next time we meet :D

If any of you read this i love you xXx ^__^ xXx

I need to stop doing this, it is currently 7.37 and i am still awake, i am moving home on Saturday so all of tomorrow i will be moving stuff which isn't going to be fun :( dammit.

I am tooo poor to write anything else x

I am currently playing hide the spoons for annies birthday :D its fun. x

My car had its M.O.T today i hope i didn't fail, i don't have enough money to pay for another one :(
Just about to put some stuff on ebay to get some money soo i can go to 8/8/8.

It such a nice day outside.

This makes me happy :D x

Somebody asked me how i was earlier and i replied "splendid"

I really like the word splendid, i shall use it more from now on.

Today i am tired due to no sleep last night.

I ended up playing rock band till 4 am and then i found a hidden skate park in winchester and skated it till the sun was fully up this morning and played in the play park for a bit, i sat on the swing staring into the sky for about 10 minutes.

Then i made visit to the local services and sat in the massage chair for 5 minutes and left.

On the way home i came across a car boot sale this was at about 7.30. I stopped to look around, ended up buying The Beatles "golden years" LP vinyl for £1 how awesome is that ^__^ it made me happy.

Tried to sleep, didn't get very far and then ate some pasta.

Who needs sleep anyway. x

Soo hey, im completely dead i stayed up till 6 am this morning trying to edit my new video, i dunno why it took soo long, and i just woke up, its 11 am and im going for a skate today in milton quays with tosh, little tosh, matt, and dan.
Should be awesome.

He is still a legend even when he is dying.

I went round to my nans house again yesterday to have dinner, and to say hello to grandad he was just laying there in the same spot staring out the window. I tried talking to him but there was no reply and suddenly out of nowhere he says in his mumbly voice:

"Ohh look there's somebody out side"

I turned round and looked out the window there was nobody there turned to face granddad and said
"There is nobody there grandad"

He said "Noo look up there on top of that roof ( he was referring to the shed)"

I looked and again there was nothing there so i asked him what this guys looked like and he replied

"I dont know"

We both stooped talking the room was filled with silence as he was staring out the window.
Then out of nowhere he softly said.

"ohh look he's floating around now"

I looked again and yet again there was nothing, I asked him

"where abouts is this guys floating"

and he said,

" hes just floating, floating, floating. He's gone now."

One of the best conversations in my life.